“Men want it more”. “A woman of character never talks about sex.”
Conversations around sex are still frowned upon, especially if you are a woman. Even if you try to break this taboo, you are often met with shame and silence. Everyone has wants & desires, women too, and if talking about them crushes the good girl image, then so be it.
It’s high time we unlearn this BS and own ourselves, our desires and be vehemently vocal about it. There are so many myths surrounding sex and here we are busting them one by one taking charge of our desires and pleasure and making choices with absolute freedom!
Myth 1 – Orgasm! Orgasm! Orgasm!
Give it a rest. Sex is not just about orgasm. And it is not good only when both of you achieve that orgasm. It is more about connection than about finishing. Real intimacy is when two people connect on a deeper level and are absolutely comfortable with each other. The pressure to perform takes away all the fun and the pleasure out of it. Sex should always be about taking care of your partner’s needs. The focus should be on how to give each other the maximum pleasure and enjoy each other’s bodies rather than putting all your thoughts on giving your best performance. Seek real and raw connection, good sex will automatically follow.
Myth 2 – Men want it more than women
Libido is not gender-specific. Women desire it as much as men do; it’s just that our desire comes coated with shame or low expectations. We cannot talk about it openly, no matter how much we want to. When we talk about sex and wanting it, a lot of factors come into play- emotional, hormonal and situational. Women tend to get stuck in familial responsibilities or circumstances beyond their control, so sometimes sex takes a backseat. And most times it is difficult for a woman to express herself and talk about her sexual expectations. The needs of an individual change with time and gender has no role to play here whatsoever. Men are not always ‘on’, ‘up’ and ‘ready’ for sex and women do not have low desires.
Myth 3- Hairless & Flawless!!
The myth around these unrealistic beauty standards should be ripped apart and should be ripped apart now. Honestly, appearances do not matter that much, but what matters more is comfort and timing when it comes to sex. Do not give in to these silly theories that you have to be all hairless down there and everywhere for your partner to be attracted to you. Cut yourself some slack and fall in love with your natural bodies rather than being ashamed of it. A flawless body does not guarantee flawless sex. Just be confident in your own skin and proud of your natural body- there is nothing more attractive than that!
Myth 4- Sex is not an obligation
Just because you love him does not mean that you have to do it every time he wants. Sex should never feel like a compulsion. Whether you are in a long term relationship or even married, consent is important. A physical relationship should not seem coerced or something you need to get done with because you have to. Healthy intimacy does not look like that. It is consent, desire, enjoyment and pleasure clubbed together. Both the partners should want it equally to have a good time together.
Myth 5- Sex….Shush!!
Curious about sex? Have questions? Or doubts? A ‘nice girl’ should not ask questions or have opinions about sex. Being inquisitive about sex or sexuality somehow defines a woman’s character. It’s time we get past this myth and be unapologetically curious about sex and communicate about it openly. Having honest conversation with your partner can do wonders for your sex life. When you tell them what you like or dislike and what your sexual desires are, it gives way to a better relationship and also empowers you in a rare way.
Myth 6- Its normal to feel pain during sex
Sex is pleasure, it is an activity to be enjoyed. Pain during sex is not normal. Usually women tolerate such discomfort thinking that it is how it should be which they absolutely shouldn’t. The reason for pain can be some underlying health concern such as dryness or even infection. It is better to consult a doctor if this pain is persistent during sex. Your sexual experience should be pain-free and loaded with pleasure and fun. You deserve it!
Myth 7- Your sexual encounters do not decide your worth
Women are always judged for their choices, what they wear, what they do with their lives, etc etc. If you have had sex with multiple partners, you are labeled as a whore or someone “too experienced”. If you are a virgin, then the stigma of being too naive is attached to you. Whatever you decide, you are always being judged, so break free from all these stereotypes and do what you really want to do. Have sex with whoever you like; if you want to wait for the right person, there is nothing wrong with that too. All that matters is you should be comfortable with your choices. Your sexual history, number of partners, does not define your value or your character. You do!
The bottom line is it is your body, so you and only you can set the rules. Enjoy sex, redefine it, to question it, to be curious, to explore yourself – you deserve all this and much more. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Your body- your pleasure- your rules!!!